Such coincidence.

There's this guy in Css, about a year ago, when I was secondary 2, I remembered that after my express maths class, after taking photos for the year book, we had P.E.
& we (the girls) were like pulling each other's shirts up. Childish huh?
& I was running, & there's this guy who knocked into me, & I fell.
He apologised & ran away.
I was hoping that I wouldnt bled, but yes, it bled.
I still can remember this incident for about a year, & I still remember the guy's looks.

& today, went to this food centre.
I was looking around when something caught my eye.
HOHO.
The guy who made me fell was there.
I told my mum & dad.
HAHAHA.
Coincidence huh? :D

Recently, I've been hooked onto animes.
Konjiki no Gash Bell!!
AHHHH!
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!
& Zatch Bell is soooo adorable!!
OMGOMGOMG!
Currently at episode 7, still a long way to go to finish it.
Planned to watch at least 3 episodes a day.
HOHOHO.

This holidays is like..
*poof*
& a blink of eye, it ended.
& Im only on the surface of my homeworks.
I dont even know what to do for my fnn project.
DIEDIEDIE.
Faizal's gonna skin me alive.
& the next few days & the next week are going to be a hectic week for me.
BUSY BUSY BUSY.

& I STILL WANT THE CLASS OUTING!!
Steamboat & movie! :D :D

Its recovering!
Its recovering!
Its recovering!
-cheers-


i dont need you.
you're not the kind of friend whom i should give better treatments.
you're not the kind of person whom i'll like to remember.
& i regret knowing you lah..
seriously.

I dont know la.
I seemed to be losing track of time and therefore,
I often forgot to eat my medicine.
Im under medication!
& that vitamin C plus pills are really really ENORMOUS!
About 1.5 cm to 2 cm. & I have difficulties swallowing it down.
& the potassium thinggy is so damn STINK!

Quan Yuan drew something for me in msn yesterday.
Im sure you're waiting for me to post it huh? Hahaha, jkjk :D
Im gonna draw one for you next time!! Although I know that Im gonna embarass myself la.
HOHOHO.
THANKS ALOT :D

He drew mine in purple,
his in green.
He's a green freak la. xD
& Im a purple freak! =D
I kept laughing when I saw it.

MEME!! :D :D :D

HIM HIM!! :D :D :D

I've been used by someone whom I shall not name.
He sucks lah. Damn him.
FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT, LIAR LIAR LIAR.
It fits him perfectly!

Every 27th of each month, a special thing befall.
Will history repeats itself?
I hope he recalls.. Cos I still remember everything, like it happened yesterday.
UB & HG :D :D :D


its getting better.
REJOICE!

Came across this blog.
Practically, she's always blabbering about her being FAT.
I shant paste her url here, shouldnt embarass her.
Look at this.

"ii am sho fat larhs... ii meann,, look at muii,, itz sho obvious larhs. whyy am ii bornn fat?? ii wan tuu endd mahh lyfe... no one wans muii,, mahh dearr habb left muii... issit becuz ii am fat?? ii askked hiim... he didntt sayy anitinn. ii triedd vomittingg,, andd cuttingg mahhself... espp whrr all muii fats r... but no use lors... muii throat hurts lors. ii reallyy wan tuu endd muii lyfe lors. ii shall tryy vomitting laters... pplee readdingg this,, ferr mahh frends out deree... am ii really tat fat?? does a 45 kg gurll countedd as fat?? ii am sho miiserable lors... sobb sobb sobb..."

WELL HELLO??
You're only 45 kg lah.
If you call yourself fat, what about other people that are more than that amount of weight?
FAT, there are 2 different kinds of fat.
One, overweight.
Two, obese.

Overweight and obese are two different kinds of things.
Overweight refers to the excess amount of muscles.
Obese refers to the excess amount of fats.

Get this 2 facts right before calling yourself that. & a 45kg girl doesnt call herself fat. That is, unless she's really insane lah. People often regard fats as a useless thing. Actually its not. Sheesh.
& bulimia does make you slimmer. But it dont solve problems. It never does.

I think that girl is really outta her mind. & look at the way she's typing!!
Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Maybe I'll flood her.
HOHOHO.


was it something i said?

Im back again.
:D :D :D
Almost a week is gone, yet I didnt even started doing my homework.
Si bei cham lah.

I had car-sick. I vomit whenever Im in the car for a long period of time.
Mummy gave me this, EMOTION SICKNESS pill.
Had trouble swallowing it down.
HAHAHA.

Im surprised lah.
My little brother is only 6 this year,
yet he swallowed the pill infront of me.
Compare, a 15 year old & a 6 year old.
9 years of difference.
I still rmb, the first time I swallowed pills is when Im 13.
LOL XD

Know whats worse than going overseas?
Going overseas when you're ill.
Cant believe it lah.
I fell ill after eating that harmless looking 50 cents sarsi flavoured bubble gum.
Shouldnt have gave in to my temptation.
Tsktsktsk.
Such small harmless candy, such danger it can produce.
GOD.

I dont wanna leave the house.
I dont wanna go out.
Something's wrong ; beauty
So much harm.

IM BACK IM BACK IM BACK! -cheers-

That camp is kinda fun, with those enthu guides & stuffs.
I LOVE WEST DIVISION!
WEST DIVISION!! hohoho.

DAY 1
So god damn tired lah.
Build our own gadgets & tent.
& the best thing is, we never even build that canvas sort of tent before.
Kind of feeling lost for a second there.
Some school came over & told us what to do. Forgot what school was that.
So hot & tired.
Shant elaborate.

Day 2
It sucks lah.
This stupid "raiding the city" thinggy, oh god.
The first clue.
Should be BTH, we went to FCP.
Climbed the never ending steps at FCP, found out that is wasnt there.
How annoying.
Those stupid in-charge are so UNREASONABLE!
Its only 2 people for god's sake.
& STOP DAO-ING CSS GUIDES.
Minus off 5 points?
Didnt went that well.
My heart just felt pain & I couldnt breathe for a second. *ouch*
Went bad.
Really bad.

DAY 3
Imagine,
having lunch under a 100 degrees HOT HOT HOT sun,
& you're there sweating like siao.
& your forks & spoons are mostly made of metal right?
& the worst thing is, it will be even bad if your plates are made of metal.
*Nudges Pf*
Both Durga & me chose canoeing as our activity for today.
& MY NAME WAS THE FIRST ON THE LIST! :D
Grouped together with ZSS & BVS.
Was kinda fun.
I LOVE CANOEING!
Didnt get first lah. But, we did have fun.
Okay,
while I was in the water, those rocky rocks tripped.
My skin rubbed against those sharp stones & rocks.
My palm scratched against a small rock. When I look at my palm, the rock is still stuck deep into my skin.
OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH!!
& scars are left at my left leg.
HOHOHO!

Didnt sleep at night with the guys until late at night.
This thing, we adress it as, the " E news ".
Its those secrets & gossips that we share.
So interesting to find out what are the views of the guys on other people.

Shant rant on it any further. Im sososo drained out :(

To those fans of Taufik & Paul of Sg idol, hope that you wont feel insulted yeah?
Alrighty!
I think that Taufik is like..
Acting like Usher.
Esp when he sings. Notice something?
He's like, pulling it longer & longer & longer.
He wants to be the next Usher huh?
For Paul, dont you find that the way he dresses looks exactly like My Chemical Romance?
Esp Gerard Way. Dont find it insulting.
Cos Im a big fan of MCR & I love Gerard Way like siao personally.
Why does Sg idols nowadays likes to follow huge stars' footsteps?
So UNORIGINAL.

IMPORTANT NOTE. (AGAIN)
IM GOING OVERSEAS TMR!
Wont be back till most probably Saturday or Sunday.

GOODBYE WORLD,
GOODBYE SINGAPORE :D :D :D

TMR TMR TMR TMR!!
TMR'S THE DAY!

Going to the camp challenge tmr.
Outdoor camping
We have to build our own shoe rack, our own baggage rack, our clothes line & flagpole, etc etc..
Its like.. A last minute stuff.
We learnt everything in the eleventh hour. LOL
I just hope we're able to do our gadgets within the 2 or 3 hrs range.
I dont wanna cock up tmr.
Mrs Loh said,
"I dont mind if you all didnt get the first prize, just have fun!"
And after a few weeks after she said the sentence, she said,
"If you all didnt get the first prize, better get 1st runner up!! Or the worst, 2nd runner up."
Woah, she changes her thinking real fast. Tsktsktsk.

Did our clothes line today with Pf & Durga.
It didnt work out the way we wanted yesterday.
Almost wanted to finished everything, until the stupid rain came.
Had to move our gadget to the canteen.
So troublesome, didnt practice pitching tent today,
dont know if we know what to do tmr.
Pretty nervous.

&&!
Its not our problem, it is the another level's job,
they're not doing it.
They're not even helping at all, besides holding on to the poles & stuffs.
Told them to do square lashing or diagonal lashing,
they give you a blur look.
Your seniors are just being nice to you okay?
So appreciate it.

I dont care if you're OH-SO-POPULAR,
I dont care if people's behind you all along,
I dont care if you're being nice to me all of a sudden,
I dont care if you're waving to me,
I dont care if you're saying hi to me,
I dont care if you're saying nice things to me,
I dont care if you're waiting for me to go to our next class.
I JUST DONT CARE ALRIGHT?
You made my mood go haywired today.
How evil.

You're just being selfish,
you're just being a BIG jerk.
Just the plain old selfish you.
Incorrigible.

Just bolding the IMPORTANT words out.
Im not mad or anything lah,
I just want justice!
I want fairness,
not popularity.
Some people, or those people who's behind you wouldnt have agreed to whatever I say.
Useless lah.

Joyce, you're making a complete fool outta yourself.
Joyce, you're rejoicing over absolute nothing.
Joyce, you plain old weird, fat, stupid happy girl.
How I love you to bits! :D

SOSOSOSOSOSO SAD!!
On Tuesday, on channel 19, AXN,
they'll be showing 2 hours of CSI.
OMGOMGOMG!
I JUST SIMPLY LOVE CSI!
CSI, CSI NY or CSI Miami.
Like Love it LOVE IT LOVE IT! :D
Just so sad, I gonna miss it.
After the hectic camp, immediately the next day,
Im gonna be going overseas! GOD.
And theres loads of homework calling my name.
I havent even started on my FNN project nor any of the homework.
Im sosososo DEAD.

IMPORTANT NOTE,
GOING ON A CAMP TMR,
WONT BE BACK TILL MONDAY,
FLOOD ME PEOPLE :D

Im so super tired.
Im not suffering of lack of sleep nor insomnia.
Going to school for remedials,
and after the remedials,
I have cca. And my cca is not slack at all.
We have to prepare for the camp challenge, which is 2 days away, on Friday.
Im gonna miss my online friends, going online, my friends & my blog.
awww =/

Guess what?
I snipped my sister's hair yesterday. To be more specific,
I've snipped her fringe.
Let me tell you,
her fringe is super long,
if I dont cut it, I'll cut it off when she's alsleep.
Was kinda shocked when she allowed me to cut it.
In the past,
she dont allow me to cut it, said I was inexperienced & clumsy.
Tsktsktsk.
Now, she looks exactly like me!
Well, twins are meant to look alike XD

I dont know why lah.
Im feeling all mad inside in the morning.
I seriously cannot take it anymore. If it continues, I swear I'll chop your head off (:
Or the worst,
I'll transfer school, change my name & move to a new town.
*laughs*

I saw Sangeetha putting up notices of the "Campus Super Siblings".
Something like that.
C1 to C5.

MY PHOTO SUCKS IN THE NOTICES!!
OMGOMGOMG!!
I look damn sua ku lah.
Its like some siao gin na smiling away. *hides*
But luckily,
those notices placed around the school are not so obvious.

Yesterday, bought this really expensive sweet.
Its the most expensive sweet I've ever bought.
In the past, the most expensive sweet is about $2.50
MY MONEY! Goodness.

Pf, Seri, Ain & I went to eat today.
Was at the bbt shop when we saw 3 girls infront of us. Most probably sec 1s.
The first girl, her bag is super cool lah.
Its like a shirt. & the sides is opened.
So I put my fingers in there. The guys kept laughing.
Then Ain stood behind one of the girls.
I tapped them, the girl turned & stared blury at her. *laughs*
Ain even pulled one of the girls keychains.
Tsktsktsk.

Some people whom I'll like to describe.

Person 1: I hate you & Im not gonna change my mind towards you.
Person 2: Thanks for passing the note to me. I feel much more better after getting it off my chest ^^
Person 3: I dont want you to change. But hey! Its your own decision right? I should be behind you all along. But I still like the old you (:
Person 4: You're one of the most hilarious person I've ever known. Thanks for making that first call & brightening up my day ^^
Person 5: You saw me yet you didnt say anything. On the verge of forgetting :D
Person 6: You do not look nice in black. I still hate you alot.
Person 7: DONT EVER INSULT MY DAD. Although he may be hot tempered at times, he is still my beloved dad. I love my dad w or w/o people's comments. You said my clique & I are rude, we shall not talk yeah? Now, wont that solve everything?

Going back to school tmr afternoon.
My fingers hurt after doing those gadgets,
but its kinda fun (:
Im dead beat, so drained out.

You last breathed on 14 may.
Where have you been exactly?


hi.
arent i seeing you everyday?

I cant believe it, its only a gap of 5.6.
& yet, so much difference in the position.
Sometimes, such things can be so sickening.

Went to the BP quest briefing today.
Took a taxi.
The journey to Bishan for me is damn long,
couldnt stand it, but i have to control.
Almost reaching there, I puked.
But I swallowed it back again, I chewed on my vomit, & swallowed it back.
HAHAHA :D

Intially, didnt wanna go. Damn lazy.
Changed my mind in the end.

Had to cancel our BP quest cos we didnt have time.
The finals was at 3rd june, but we're having that camp challenge.
No PNA points, no badges.
SO SAD!
No more gold award. Tsktsktsk.
Went to Junction 8 with Mrs Loh and Anyu after the briefing.

Doesnt it feel weird whenever you're eating or shopping with your teacher?
But she's damn nice lah. She pays for our transport and our lunch.
SO NICE!
Both of us were kinda shocked.
I never did see her acting so nice before, except for the time when she treats us for that pizza treat & the Narnia movie.
THANKS MRS LOH! (:

" Another day goes by
Will never know just wonder why
You made me feel good, made me smile
I see it now and I
Can say its gone that would be a lie
Cannot control this
This thing called love "

Created another skin.
The theme is on THE CLICK FIVE. Shall use it soon (:

THE CLICK FIVE
Just cant get enough of them.


Daddy's thinking & attitude changed 360 degrees. I dont know if she has brainwashed him or somthing. But it cant be, I've watched everything with my own eyes.
I dont know why I kept weeping either.

Im just emotional alright? & stop cursing me cos Im crying.
It doesnt make sense.


Suddenly, I feel so stupid.
REAL stupid.


Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out

Regrets?
Not at all.
Im contented.
NOT!

agiyks u fi ri rgw fyuswa giyaw qurg abty rne?
un kujw, fis sanb kazt kag.
Oh wait!
It aint a secret no more.
It isnt a secret at all.

Would you rather a $60 game or 3 things that would last you for the rest of your life?
Well maybe not the rest of your life, but at least a year or so.
Which would you prefer?


u qabr tiy ri kicw nw, u bwws kice. un bir a swaoi jua ie qgarwcwe,
u kicw kiasa id ook.
guij ban,
qyabtyab,
ucab,
rii vas ucab us jubsa guariet?
*kayfga*
u bwws kice (: (:

Just curious,
Im wondering if anyone knows what Im talking about :D

I shall blog about yesterday and today, since there's so many going-ons :D


YESTERDAY

Mdm Aishah said she'll show and present the school the 5 groups of look-alike siblings.
Kind of shocked when both my sister and I heard that we're gonna be standing infront of the school.
So,
we're in C2.
Dint know Sharon Mak was there too.
She kept telling me that she was super scared.
Mdm Aishah said,
"C2, GRACE LEE AND JOYCE LEE!"
Hahahaha!
Imagine the fear that we're having. GOD!
The first was a pair of Indian siblings.
When walking to the front,
I saw some teachers kept pointing.
HOHOHO.

Mrs Yeo said she wanted to speak to me alone.
Im like. "uh oh, Im in trouble."
Just some private stuffs (:

Went to the old folks home after school.
That place was abit isolated.
Started to rain not long after we arrived.
A lady briefed us.
& this guy came. He was the, so called "asst".
I noticed something,
his pants were super BIG.
Like those 60's or 70's kinda pants,
like Elvis! :D :D

Went to talk to the old folks.
I dont know why,
people regard me as the older sister,
and regarded my sister as the younger one. *laughs*
Quite fun though. (:
Cant wait for the next session!


For today.

Woke up at 0430. Couldnt even open my eyes,
like a new-born hamster.
Had to give Sam a wake up call.
Went to Mac Ritchite after that.

I hate having car-sick.
Gives you that nauseous feeling. YUCKS.

Had to do duty.
that recording place was so hot.
Everyone was fanning themselves.
Then that stupid Adeline drew my name on my arm, & now, I cant erase it nor wash it away.
Was damn busy throughout the whole day.
After that,
breathe a sigh of relief, the whole thing finished.
-phew-

someone said i was secretly smiling.
NO WAY!

Went to hail a cab with Huiyi & Puifun.
Adeline, Yilian and Anyu took another one.
Guess what?
Our fare was 4 dollars,
and theirs were 5 dollars.
MONEY SUCKERS! XD
Went to Lot 1 after that.

Anyu and I had to change for the West Division Quiz.
The toilet was empty,
and I came out first.
Was re-tying my hair when I heard some voice gasped desperately, "Joyce.."
Dont know why,
I jumped outta my skin, & ran outta the toilet.
Went back in afterwards. Luckily I didnt scream.
Anyu came out shortly.
Thats when we heard the same voice again,
& it kept repeating my name.
Kinda creepy.
When the rest of the guys came out,
asked them if it was them who make those sounds.
They objected and act dumb.
Thats when I knew immediately that they were lying.
OH MAN, made me so scared :/

Met up with Ailing after that.
Went to Bukit Panjang Govt High.
There were 3 rounds,
9 groups for the starting.
6 groups for the 2nd round,
and 4 groups for the last round.
I didnt even study a single bit of the guiding stuffs. And neither did the rest of the guys.
Went to the physics lab to do the 10 MCQS.
they annouced the 6 groups for the next round.
And guess what?
WE GOT IN!
Kind of unexpected when someone who did not study, actually can get into the next round.
But sadly,
we lose in the 2nd round.
How embarassing :/

Anyu lost her whole collection of cards.
Sad for her.
If you have any doubts,
just call me up yeah?
Im sure your mum will understand :D :D

My maid is going back to Indo. tomorrow.
And I have to wake up at 5 to send her off to the airport.
Its like.. So tiring. Im bound to faint anytime now (:
But if I dont, I gonna let her down..
Oh well, sometimes, you're just gonna have to make sacrifices.

Tomorrow's the MEET-THE-PARENTS session. And mine's at 12.
Im prepared for the most.
Actually,
Im not prepared at all.

HAHA.
Cant believe Im actually using my blog to advertise for myself :/
Thats the only recent picture which both my sister & I have taken.
So.. Yeah.

VOTE FOR C2 FOR THE LOOK-ALIKE SIBLINGS COMPETITION!

i dont know..
why do i keep saying, "i dont know?"
dumbass XD

HAHA,
I created this skin myself.
I think its pretty cool. nah, should not qua myself.
Hoho.
But I'm just finding a host for English songs.

DONT RIP ANYTHING OFF HERE. (:

OH GOD.
MDM AISHAH JUST CALLED ME.
She told both my sister and I to meet her at 0710 tmr morning.
She kept laughing lah.
Dont know why either.
Its about the youth day thinggy.
OMG.
I wonder how she got my house number :/

Seri's a really really nice person.
Chatted with her for a really really long time.
She's really really cute at times,
she can really cheer me up.
Someone whom I can share my secrets with (: (:











I Still - BackStreet Boys

Who are you now
Are you still the same
Oe did you change somehow
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you

And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that

No matter how I fight it, can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, not refuse to see
That I keep coming back
yeah, I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last

I've tried to fight it, can't deny it
You don't even know that

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No, No...
I wish I could find you
Just like you found me, that I
Would never let you go

(need you, care about you)
Though everything's been said and done, yeah
I still feel you (I still feel you)
like I'm right beside you (Like I'm right here beside you)

But still no word from you.


This song sounds pretty sad,
at the same time,
its pretty nice too :D


i get it now :D

I wanted to apologise,
but something held me back.

*holding back my tears

i know that you're vuaaws against us sisters.
i know you love them.
i know you did not thank me personally.
i did not make any noise.
i know you only thank pretty girls.
i know that you know that i like you.
i know that you did not intend to do anything.
i feel so..
kept in the dark.
i know that you think that im the cause of all the troubles.
so,
i shall say,
im sorry, i did not know what i've done either.
i shall be gone from your life.
i shall make you forget me.
i shall disappear, i shall be gone with the wind.
& you shant be seeing me anymore.
& dont ask me about almost everything.
that is, unless you really want to help me.

i wont be blogging frequently here.


My blog is the cause of all the fricking problems.
Damn it.

I'm speechless.
Real speechless.
absolute nothing to say..
kinda upset.


Got this siblings look-alike competition.
Both me and my sister signed up for it.
I doubt we will win but,
look on the bright side (:

Told mum & dad about my CH & chemistry results.
They seems kind of happy when they heard it.
They told us that they expected a 60+ marks.
I wanted to cry,
I dont think I can survive..

I love you Sam, Puifun, Jie & Jessie
It isnt your fault that you couldnt make me smile.
Joelle,
I bet you that they're just acting for the sake of it.
You're much more luckier than me.
You still have a chance, unlike me.
Dont give up,
strong girls dont cry (:


u xabr vwkuwcw rgar gw axryakkt qwbr ri rakj ri nt huw,
ubarwas id ne.
ura kujw ainw ubaabw dar fuek, kicubf ainwaib qgi qukk bir ewryeb nt kicw.
u sus dwkr gaoot rgar gw aabf qgar u riks gun ri.
vyr,
sus gw ewakkt gwws qgar u aat?
ubarwas id vxia tyw subf ewnubsa gun id agaeib?
hiwkkw riks nw rgar tyi,
ucab, jbiqa rgar u axryakkt kujw tiy.
giq diikuag qaa u ri fucw tiy ayxg a vuf gubr?

u hyar qabba rwkk tiy rgar,
u ewakkt ewakkt kujw tiy akir <3

I dont know.
I really dont know.
Why?


Theres this particular 2 maids that I'll like to emphasize on,
which I've seen today.

Maid no. 1 ;
I was having dinner with my sister.
Then this guy with a cigarette between his fingers came along.
Walked past me,
this foul smell almost made me puke.
And that sickening thing almost touched me.
Luckily i siam away just in time.
Gave that guy an annoyed look.
Then this maid was sitting not so far away from me.
That smoker came and have a small chat with that maid.
This maid became so overjoyed and she was laughing loudly,
non-stop.
Her employer's daughter tugged at her auntie.
Instead of replying her,
she just shoved & brushed her off,
telling her to go play somewhere else.
Kinda annyoing at that time.
And that guy who came and talked to the maid isnt a Bangladesh.

Maid no. 2 ;
Was in the lift.
I was barely inside the lift when she depress the close button quickly.
She gave me this bo chap look and press the open door button.
Again, I was halfway when she close the lift again.
The door slammed against me,
luckily, the sensor sensed me.
Stared at the maid.
She dao-ed me,
I rolled my eyes at her.
I'm like,
it isnt my fault okay?
If it was you,
how would you feel?
And its not funny.


Something ugly this way comes
Through my fingers sliding inside
All these blessings all these burns
I'm godless underneath your cover
Search for pleasure search for pain
In this world now I am undying
I unfurl my flag my nation helpless.


[EDIT]
WTH.
SHIT.
YOU'RE SO FRICKING BIASED.
ESP TO ME.
ITS KINDA DISGUSTING.
NOW IM REAL MAD,
ALL THANKS TO YOU.
DAMN YOU.
[/EDIT]

A dirty chat between jez & me.
HAHAHA (:
we're both sickos


sweeeet says:
breasts are meant to be touched

־ hyena says:
HAHA

־ hyena says:
MINE!

sweeeet says:
aiya,

־ hyena says:
MY LINE

sweeeet says:
i touched urs

sweeeet says:
hahahahahah

sweeeet says:
UR BREAST

־ hyena says:
never!

sweeeet says:
hahahahahahahaha

sweeeet says:
eh, no ur sissy

־ hyena says:
YOU NEVER TOUCH MY BREASTS


[EDIT]
jez's masterpiece! ^^




[/EDIT]

It's so stupid,
I'm actually worrying about absolute nothing.
*gives stupid look*

Raj unexpectedly gave me back my resource file.
I thought that he would forget all about it,
if he had forgotten,
I'd have killed him long ago (:

黑黑的天空低垂
亮亮的繁星相随
虫儿飞虫儿飞
你在思念谁

天上的星星流泪
地上的玫瑰枯萎
冷风吹冷风吹
只要有你陪

虫儿飞花儿睡
一双又一对才美
不怕天黑只怕心碎
不管累不累
也不管东南西北

I'VE PASSED MY ENGLISH!
I'VE PASSED MY ENGLISH!
I'VE PASSED MY ENGLISH!
*SCREAMS*
*SCREAMS WITH SAMANTHA*
Have to admit,
the tension was super high.
Everyone was wishing that Mrs Yeo would call out their index numbers after school today.
Someone told me the first thing she mentioned was,
"The twins did passed."
Didnt hear that.
"Index number 5, 6, etc etc."
INDEX NUMBER 5 PASSED!!
*grins widely*
I CAN GET INTO SEC 4!! :D :D

Yingzhen told me something,
she found that it was super disgusting.
Shant elaborate any further,
for the sake of some people.
I find it SUPER disgusting.
I find it the most disgusting news I've ever heard in days.
*pukes*
Such a...

It was raining today.
Nobody was at the field.
Shouted with all my might,
shout my heart out.
It feels kinda good,
with the rain tickering down your face,
with the breeze blowing you.
For a second,
I did not remember that I had been so sad before.
It feels kinda weird,
but,
my negative feelings have subsided (:

dear jessie ;
strong girls do not cry (:

So,
he found out.
I shouldnt have been too obvious.
I'm not good at expressing myself either.

Now,
I'm getting more & more paranoid.
I dont think I'll be myself tomorrow.

wish me luck!
luck!

if ANANDA RAJ doesnt return me my resource file tomorrow,
I swear I'm gonna skin him alive.
He has already procrastinate it for a week.
& he claims that he didnt steal it,
if bringing something that is not yours back home,
doesnt it count as stealing?
I seriously hopes he'll bring it tomorrow,
I'll kill him if he doesnt.

Now I know,
every happy moments come with a day of sorrowness.
And every good deeds you've done,
no one will ever appreciate it.

I must say.
I'm quite upset.
Not upset, something much more worser than upset.
I can't believe myself either. The first thing he talks about,
is her.

Have it ever crossed your mind that whenever you speak of her,
I feel so terrible inside,
I feel so..
Shattered.

I grieve over everything.
I blamed myself for all the misery caused.
I always thought that you're a pretty nice guy.
Indeed you are,
one of the nicest guy I've ever know.
I treated you as my savior,
someone who rescues me from doing crazy things,
someone who wakes me up from stupidity,
someone who actually took the time to hear me out.

Okay,
I have to admit it myself,
I do feel sad whenever i saw her name being typed out.
Ever wonder why i took so long to reply when I saw her name?
Now you know.
I seriously hope that you won't take it to heart.
Friends?

We went to west Mall again.
We've been going to WM for 3 days straight.
Eating the same stuffs,
eating the same old desserts,
well maybe not for Jez, pf or Sam.
Going to the toilet after eating,
walking at the same old place.
Crazy huh?

Though,
I'm kinda suprised that you're very observant.
No one really did know what happened either.

Everytime I wanna post photos,
I'm always getting so mad.
But yeah.
PM me in msn to get the photos!
I'm so pissed :/


Where are you when I'm having all this fears?

She told me to try opening another blog,
spill out all sadness in you,
spill out all your troubles.
I don't know if it will work, but hey!
Its worth a try right?
And i swear that no one would gain access to it.
That is, unless someone hypnotise me to giving them the web.
Impossible. (:

Here are some of the results i've gotten today.

E maths ; 58.3/100
A maths ; 41.2/100
Physics ; 49/100
Chemistry ; 60/100
Chinese ; 67/100
FNN ; 63/100
Combined humanities ; 80/100

You must be thinking,
how stupid can this girl get?
she deserves to be in the NA stream.

Comments, i dont wanna hear any.
That is, unless it is a good one (:

I've gone completely INSANE.
I've gone gaga over my Combined humanities.
I'm super duper uber HAPPY over my SS & History.
I seriously want to thank Miss Ker for marking my paper.

But,
too bad, i'm not the first in class either.
Someone scored 85.
And Mrs Png has came back and is currently teaching us Combined humanities again!
But i sure do miss Miss Nurul.
She's super good in her teaching,
initially, i didnt understand a single thing.
But now, i do.

Went to West Mall with the guys today,
without sam.
I had the greatest laugh today.
It has been so long since i last heard my laughter.
Laughed real loud at the foodcourt.
People stared as if theres an IMH patient currently on the run.
I couldnt be more happier.

Its like,
being happy,
hasnt been so much fun.


Just something random,

HAPPY 300TH POST! :D

Easy come,
easy go.


I dont know how it happened either,
dont ask me.
It hurts alot,
everyday, every single moment.
It hurts me alot more than you can imagine.

I dont know why he's siding her.
I dont know that kind of "side",
nobody really do understand what kind of pain she has given me.
All she wants is just...

Opening the bottle cap. Filled it up with water.
Speak, speak out all your problems, speak out all your troubles.
Whisper them softly.
Cap it on tight, vent your anger, shake the bottle with all your might.
Throw them all out,
let them flow,
let them be free to this world.
May them,
be gone with the wind.

If you love somebody, let them go.
If they return, they were always yours.
If they don't, they never were.

You do care,
i can see that you're trying.
But do you know that the moment i saw that particular thing,
i felt myself,
being stabbed a million times.
But, just one thing..

Arent you afraid that i'm gonna fall for you?


Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye,
but for now.
All i see,
it was..
it was you.

today's my worst day ever.


imagine,
sleeping in a room filled with sick people,
i'm already down with a fever,
with flu and a sore throat pilling up.
how can i not be sick?

miss lim pulled me to the chemistry lab today during assembly.
i guess she found out.
i shouldnt have even touched the her stuffs.
i shouldnt have even stayed behind,
i shouldnt have even accompained her.

so, she pulled me.
without talking,
i started sobbing madly.
i started weeping as if someone close to me passed away.
i started crying,
like there's no tomorrow.

she told me,
you shouldnt cut yourself, you shouldnt hurt yourself.
i shant say anymore.
she told me to shout it loud into the sky,
shout it to an empty space.

i wanna shout it out loud,
I WANNA SCREAM IT LOUD,
I WANNA SHOUT IT LOUD,
I SHOULDNT BE MISERABLE OVER OTHERS.

i shouldnt have even come online,
i shouldnt have even bothered talking,
i shouldnt have even been tagging at hers,
i shouldnt have even been giving up to my weakness,
i shouldnt have even been talking to you,
i shouldnt have even been born into this world.

you people make me sob endlessly.
i cry every moment,
everytime,
its like a daily breakfast.
i cant stop it.


i'm so sick.
i'm as sick as a pig.
i'm as sick as the germ.
sick sick sick.



thanks shiping,
thanks for calling me up.
thanks for knowing my problems,
thanks.

be a prodigy,
be someone noble.


oh right, get your fucking ass outta here yeah? i dont need comments from others,
i dont heed comments given by some bitch.
why bother tagging me?
oh, you just have no fucking life eh?
oh, then,
i shall not blame you (:

i really dont mind if he starts shouting again,
but if he start to scream & shout at the woman,
i shall not be nice.

i suddenly remembered this "funny" conversation between guohao & i.
at that time,
he was blocking my way.

ME: excuse me.
guohao: *refuse to move*
ME: wei, move lah
guohao: shit you lah cb, wad?!
ME: knnbccb, fuck you asshole. *shoves him aside*

grahhh, i must admit, i was super mad at that moment.
hoho.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
LOVE YA LOADS MUM!! =)
& she really likes that necklace.
:D

sorry sam,
cant post the photos.
havent find every single thing i want.
next time yeah?
sorry!


joyce,
you've earned yourself another scar.
good luck (:

baby,
cry for those who suffer.
baby,
cry for those who's in pain.
baby;
i love you.


its like a gore story kinda tale.
theres happy endings,
theres sad endings,
& theres endings which are never ending.
which one fits mine?
i'll choose neither.

happy stuffs do befall on me,
sadistic ideas are beginning to repeat history again.
angst feelings engulfed my mind once again.

just typical people,
i hate it when i ask something,
you dont fucking hell replying.
well hello?
didnt education taught you anything?
maybe it's because you're so GOD DAMN FUCKING ARROGANT,
thats one way to put it.
you cant just force us to do things that we dont like,
nor do things which will embarass us.

you made me __ __ again.
i'm like,
you seriously know that i will __ __,
why make me mad?
oh right,
you never did found out about that huh?
now,
i've got to cover up for all that i've done.
are you happy now?

if anyone finds out,
nobody will ever speak to me,
they'll think that i'm an insane kid,
doing whatever things she likes.
how about,
i shall not let any single soul know about this,
nobody will ever find out,
people will not avoid me, something like that.
now,
case close now huh?
no, not so fast.
lets wait until it recover shall we?
we shall address it as,
our dirty lil secret shall we?

he seems quite a distance from me,
its not that we're not speaking,
its that,
nobody dares to speak up.
unlike some other busybodies.
i hate it whenever people spreads my secret around.
its so fucking annoying.

& please,
i'm trying very very hard to change,
i shall change,
watch me.

i hate pretty girls,
i hate cute girls,
they make me so sick.
fuck them.
KNNBCCB.
i wont hate my friends who're pretty.
that is,
if anyone admits that they're either chio or cute.
PUI!

when i ask you a question,
answer it,
dont play games with me.


its so fucked up, i hate every single thing. you shouldnt have made me rejoice about it in the first place, you shouldnt have even reprimanded us.
& you, you shouldnt have scolded me for crying. i cried is because i'm feeling mad and miserable. dare i say, i tried using a method, instead, i wanted even more to cry out. cutting myself once again did cross my mind. but instead, i didnt want to do it again is because you him. yes, him.
about him, the issue is this.. he msged me, instead, he chose not to reply. how rude.
i'm so miserable, i wish someone could really really understand my problems.. i want someone who could sacrifice their precious time, to hear me out.

i think, i've beginning to like you even more.
i dont used to know you, but i do now.
but, i do like you alot now, just the fact that you already like another girl..

dont bother ctrl+A the whole page,
dont bother highlighting the paragraph..
it will do neither you nor me any good.
that is,
unless anyone could understand me.

my mum's present (:

sam covered her face! awww :/

TADA! we love you miss nurul!

<3

i'm a happy girl :D
happy happy happy.


went to bugis with the same old usual guys again.
we made a promise,
to go back there and do our shopping.
& we did!

at jurong mrt station,
i was with puifun.
we need to tap our cards in order to enter right?
i think i was too caught up in something,
i tapped the card, wanted to walk past that thing.
it didnt open,
*ouch*
& i was pacing my speed somemore.
found out,
it was another way round,
cant go enter from there.
HA HA HA!

reached bugis.
jessie was having a flu!!
*laughs*
walk around like what others do. =)

went to buy my mum's mother's day gift.
i forgot the shop name,
this salesgirl came asking,
asked me what i was looking for.
i wanted to speak, but she asked me,
"are you buying a present for your mother on mother's day?"
( in chinese )
"uh huh."
sam & jez chose a chain to replace another chain.
need to pay extra $2.
& the box, which the necklace will be put in,
$3!
actually, wanted to change everything,
then the salesgirl signalled to be, telling me to go over.
she said she'll make a deal, since its for my mum.
she will not charge extra $2 for the chain,
& will lower the price of the box.
HA HA HA HA!
such a good deal.
thanks, to that shop (:

i shall post the photos tmr.
I'M ALRDY SO FUCKING PISSED WITH PHOTOBUCKET AND BLOGSPOT,
MAKE ME SO FUCKING MAD.
ARGHH..

my maid says that i'm crazy,
cause' i'm always seen smiling at the computer screen.
HAHAHA!

i thought i lost my hope,
i thought i'm losing it,
i thought he has forgotten me.
but no,
these are just thoughts,
thoughts can be changed,
thoughts cant be serious,
unless you change the fact of thoughts.

why why why?!

call me happy,
cause it really fits me (:


saw mdm soh at the parade square,
the moment she saw me,
she like,
smiled at me?
asked her what is her surname, in chinese.
cause' everytime in class,
we call her,
"lao shi" or "mdm soh".
we never did greet her by her chinese surname.

she's called, "Su lao shi"
Soh Lin Lim. ( in english )
Su Lin Lim. ( in chinese )
*laughs uncontrollably*
she mentioned that among the twins ( my sis and i ),
has the same name as her,
about the same.

okay, it was me.
for anyone who doesnt know my chinese name,
its called,
"Ling Ling"
embarassing ain it?
i find it so embarassing :/

i was the third one to take the chinese oral.
everything went quite well,
except for some stinking words that i cant read.
i got a rocky start,
i kept blabbering, every word i said was wrong.
i said,
"sorry sorry, again again."
i said it in english. i wonder if she understands.
i stumbled a couple of times,
but got used to it.
i havent even finished reading,
she just stopped me abruptly,
how rude.

started having a conversation with her.
told her about my family,
her eyes went WIDE open.
asked me how many siblings i got.
i said 2, 1 brother, and 1 sister.
all the while she thought that i had another sister.
she said sisters are cute.
told her about my sister.
she asked me which sister,
i pointed back, cause' my sister was behind me, reading.
she got shocked again.
and said,
"ni men liang jie mei hen ke ai"
( the both of you sisters are very cute )
i dont agree,
i think twins are hard to get,
ahhhh.. crap.

went to bugis with puifun, samantha & jessie.
i regret not bringing enough cash with me.
it was a last min arrangement.
miss nurul's last day with us today.
i'm seriously gonna miss her LOADS.
she even knows my name!
i bet mrs png dont knows it anyway.
she really really rocks like hell!
she helps us in our combined humanities,
she's going back to uni to study.
GOOD LUCK MISS NURUL! =)


absolute nothing to say,
its been 1 week since we last talked.
i dont know,
maybe i'm just losing it.
dont mind me,
a child losing it is common.


falling,
falling,
deeper,
and deeper,
i love you (:

i'm guessing that you found out huh?
well, thats just TOO bad.


written papers are over!
chinese orals's tmr, english's the day after tmr.
PLAY TIME'S HERE!!

had chemistry today.
quite alright though.
we were suppose to choose 2 questions out of 3 in the section C.
i do do do,
turned to the next page,
i saw the periodic table.
and i'm like..
"HUH? where's section C!?"
HA!
i've done all 3 questions.
chose 2 and 3 in the end,
cause' i feel much more confident about it.
didnt know that yilian did the same thing too!
HA HA HA!!

after the papers,
i went to throw some un-used stuffs,
i almost bumped into irene lim,
looked at her,
she gave me this weird expression,
like.. "uh-huh" kinda expression.


miss lim: so how was the paper?
ME: err.. okok la.
miss lim: so i expect an A1 from my Chemistry rep ah?
ME: huh? how can like that?!
miss lim: of cause can like that! you're my Chemistry rep afterall
miss lim: i shall and will be STRICT in your paper! *smile*
ME: eee! dont like that la.
ME: mark mine not-so-lenient.

i realised i've said the wrong things :/

miss lim: OKAY! so i'll mark yours NOT-SO-LENIENT!
ME: nono! sorry!! paiseh, said the wrong thing.
ME: mark mine LENIENT!!

ahh.. i'm so scared.
she might pinpoint out my every single spelling errors too.
ahh..
communication breakdown.
hoho.

went to mac for breakfast after the chem papers.
went with jessie, samantha, puifun, jie, clara, shenglong and joelle.
joelle & i were blabbering about the fnn papers non-stop.
she's gonna pass the papers with flying colours for SURE (:

went over to jessie's after school.
watched a movie,
i think its callled,
"the texas saw massacare"
not sure, something like that.
shows about a group of people,
travelling around texas,
met some crazy guy on the road,
picked him up.

then this guy took a guy's knife,
held this on his palm,
and used force to press the knife onto his palm,
therefore slitting it.
he kept laughing to himself,
like a siao kin na,
we're like,
GROSS!
after that, he grabbed a guy's arms and dug the knife deep into his skin.

seriously,
after seeing this horrifying scene,
i'll NEVER cut myself EVER again.
and thats the truth!


puifun's birthday's nearing,
next month.
she did mention that she love mac's hotcakes.
i was thinking of making some pancakes for her.
although i know that my standard is far from mac's,
but, its the thought that counts!
just hope that it turn out to be edible.


在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情怎么会是这个结果
爱情是个梦而我睡过头

喜欢一个人
有快乐的时候，
也有伤心的一刻.

我要快乐,
我要快乐,
我要快乐!

(set your encoding to Unicode (UTF-8) )


TOO BAD.
dont talk to me,
i'm ignoring you (:

An act or instance of such falseness,
is that what you are implying on?


I LOVE SDA'S CHIAM SEE TONG,
I LOVE WP'S LOW THIA KHIANG,
I LOVE WP'S SLYVIA LIM!!

but i'm so disappointed with Aljunied GRC,
Workers' Party didnt win..
i wanted so badly for WP to win instead of PAP.


am i really that vulgar?
do you really think that i want people to hear what i'm saying?
do you think i said all those things,
just because i wanted attention?
no,
ABSOLUTELY NO.
i just have some problems regarding on how to manage my anger.
i tend to burst out words unexpectedly,
i did not see that coming either.

i seriously DONT care if those people who have views on my vulgarities,
but i do care about ME being happy or unhappy.

at most,
i'll try not to swear again.
or most probably,
i'll never swear again.


[edit]
WOW.
i'm surprised.
i'm seriously seriously surprised.
dont know whether to rejoice or engulf,
but,
oh wells :/
[/edit]


she drifting aprt from us,
havent you notice ?
its so obvious (:


my conscience is clear,
i have no guilt in me,
i'm not guilty,
i'm NEVER guilty.

thoughts aroused my mind;
memories flashed back


i suddenly remembered.
on my mum's birthday last year.. november,
i was at some place, turf city i think
i was walking back to the car,
when a family walked past me.

some girl kept looking at me,
so i looked back at her.
so the both of us kept staring at each other.

i guess it's because she's wearing the school's orientation tee,
while i'm wearing the guides tee.

well guess who's that girl?
that was his secondary 1's ex.

HA HA HA.
how funny.

its actually just a simple problem,
yet, it became a major one.
i dont take sides,
but i know whats right and whats wrong.


chinese was quite okay.
i did gong han instead of shi han.
although i did study for both.

after hearing what you have said,
i began to wonder,
was it a threat?
or was it just something you shouldnt have said.
either ways,
you shouldnt have threatened us,
that wouldnt have helped us in any way,
it will just do more harm than good,
trust me (:

friends are much more important than anything else.

i'm glad some people remembered what i've said.
thanks jessie for that sms ytd night!
i was feeling really really dull at that moment.
thanks! [: [: [:

had maths remedial after our chinese papers.
saw jessie looking a paper.
curious, went to have a look.

guess what?
the paper contains information about our E. maths results.
sometimes i wonder,
how on earth do mdm chang mark our paper so quickly?
its like, one day,
*poof*
finished marking.

i passed my paper 1,
failed paper 2 by 1 mark.
overall, i did pass.
but, i dont really expect this kinda result.
i dont wish to speak my grade out,
but i did pass.

next obstacle,
physics, A. maths & chemistry.
its so stupid.
i suck at both 3 subjects,
i suck at physics and A. maths,
and the best thing is,
both paper falls on the same day, monday.
wth?


I'M SERIOUSLY VERY VERY FUCKED UP,
OH WAIT,
WHO'S FUCKING MOUTH IS THIS?
YES, I GUESS YOU KNOW THE ANSWER,
MINE! ITS MY BLOODY MOUTH,
SO WHY BOTHER?
I'M TALKING TO MR KERK,
WAIT, ARE YOU A MAN NOW?
IS YOUR SURNAME CALLED KERK?
NO RIGHT? SO SHUT THE FUCK UP LAH.
ITS MY BLOODY OWN PROBLEM,
I SAY WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY,
AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP MY BLOODY MOUTH FROM SPOUTING NONSENSE.
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KEEP ADDING FUEL TO MY PROBLEMS,
STOP MESSING THINGS UP FOR ME.
I'M ALREADY VERY PISSED WITH MY OWN PROBLEMS,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU THINK THAT I DONT HAVE MY OWN PERSONAL PROBLEMS?
AND STOP CRYING FOR GOD'S SAKE.
YOU PASSED YOUR E. MATHS FOR FUCKING GOD SAKE,
WHY CRY?
SYMPATHY? ATTENTION SEEKING?
OH WHAT THE HELL.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT PUIFUN ALONE,
LEFT ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOR SOME FUCKING BOYS,
IF YOU LIKE GUYS SOOO MUCH,
WHY DONT YOU BRING THEM HOME?
OR JUST CHANGE YOUR GENDER.

oh fuck,
getting so mad for no reason.

i cannot stand people.
i cannot stand anyone.
i cannot stand people who cry,

but i do LOVE people who laughs with me (:

i thought that you would have took the initiative to do it.
but i should have guessed,
how wrong i was, so terribly wrong.
i shouldnt have been so gullible,
i should have known.
i was lying to myself,
i tried to delude myself,
i tried to make me feel happy.

but i should have known,
that it would not have worked out the way i wanted it to be,
so why continue deceiving myself?

when i know that i'm going to get hurt in the end?
everything i've sacrificed,

just isnt worth it anymore.


cant believe i fell sick.
shit. T__T


had fnn today.
its like.. a pile of SHIT.
actually it isnt that bad, it wasnt that difficult either.

studied till 1 yesterday.
dad scolded me for studying too long.
now, thats a history,
never in my life i've heard my dad scolding me for studying too long.
i secretly took my fnn textbook,
brought it to my bedroom,
off the lights,
changed my hp's option,
the backlight, from 30 seconds to 10 mins,
and started revising in the dark.

i dont know why,
i'm super afraid about my fnn papers.
i didnt want to flunk it, esp fnn (:

about half of what i've studied,
didnt come out.
instead, what i didnt read came out.

overall, it was quite okay.


i hate it whenever you guys leave me alone.
not them,
them.
her.
he.
you only came to me when you did not have someone to hang out with.
it sucks lah,
it seems like i've been used by you guys.
i dread going to elective lessons.
PUI!


thanks suhayl,
i really needed that today..
thanks for cheering me up!
thanks again (:


FUCK YOU ISMAIL.
FUCK YOU.
STOP THE FUCKING LANGUAGE OF YOURS,
STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE'S SIZE,
NOW, WHY DONT YOU GO CRAWLING BACK TO THE FUCKING HOUSE OF YOURS,
INSTEAD OF JUST LOITERING AT MY HOUSE'S VOID DECK,
SMOKING, I SUPPOSE?
DONT YOU HAVE YOUR MALAY LANGUAGE TMR?
FUCK YOU,
SERIOUSLY,
FUCK YOU, STOP SAYING PEOPLE FAT.
KNN. YOU MAKE ME FUMMING MAD.


choices are what you've made,
what you've decided in the end.
so dont come crying to me if yours failed.
i dont fricking care.


may i have the last dance?

To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that you're making
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here.


paper 1 was quite okay.
except for the 2 stinking graphs that we were told to sketch out.
initally, i was correct,
but, i've changed it during the last minute.
OH FUCK.
1 mark lost.

i should have trust my first instincts.
oh what the hell.

paper 2 suck like hell.
once mdm chang came in the class,
the whole class's hands were up in the air,
sending a sos to mdm chang.
HA!
including me of cos.

i prefer 20 questions for 50 marks than 6 marks for 50 marks.


combined hum. tmr
i was practically reading the WHOLE chapter of history again.
i prefer social studies to history,
social studies is much more interesting than history.


i was super hyper yesterday.
i couldnt sleep.
i kept thinking that there was a wide-eyed ghost with its wide-opened mouth opened beside me, watching my every move.
ahhh.. my imagination..
how lame..


2 down,
2 more orals and 5 more papers to go


i guess i cant change history cant i?
i guess i cant find out the truth cant i?
i guess i cant really understand what has been going on cant i?
i guess fantasies arent meant to be a reality huh?



so i,
close my eyes,
let the whole thing pass me by.

may 1st.
time flies..
i just remembered,
i was hoping to get to know him during the dec holis
well, my wish came true
it happened in jan :D


i just got some shocking news,
not that shocking to you guys,
but shocking to me,
happened about a few days ago..

most people knew who i was refering to,
in 1 of my previous entry,
about that girl and that guy.
i think the word, "that" sounds mean.
so i'll rephrase it,
"she and he"
oh well..
i am abit TOO obvious in my words.

i apologise.
i doubt that you'll reading this but yeah,
sorry.


i shall blog happy stuffs from now on.
at least, i'll try to blog some happy stuffs.

mummy bought me a new notebook,
a really really thick one.
a black coloured one.

i have used up 4 thick ones from the starting of this year till now.
heh.. i love "spamming" my notebooks (:

i seriously hate those people from other countries adding me in msn,
namely,
nigerian, china, texas, new orlean, united states.. etc etc.
i'm NOT being racist or anything.
but, out of 40 people who have added me,
10% are perverts.
20% are irritating me.

PERVERTS.

"Joyce, wo ai ni!"
"wanna see my huge dick?"
"*Nudge*"
"*Nudge*"
"*Nudge*"
"*Nudge*"
"can you reply me?"
"can talk to me?"
"are you there?"
"are you from singapore?"
"oh you are so cute!"

quoted by them.

I AM NOT CUTE FOR GOD SAKE,
SOUNDS SO YUCKY WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT.

i cannot stand people who keeps nudging me,
no, i do not hate people who nudge me.
but for people whom i do NOT know,
dont nudge me for people i dont know,
i'll get mad, and i'll block you.
hoho.

once again,
I'M NOT A RACIST.
thats why i blocked them.

one of them even showed his THING in his display picture.
EW, EW, EW, EW!!


having E maths on tues, which is tmr.
i'm gonna work hard and pass it!
yay me!


i'm turning in.
its 0204 now.

bye people!

i shall be a nice person,
i shall be kind and understanding,
i shall save the previous post as a draft.
i know that i shouldnt swear all the time, but,
i'm used to it (:

i shouldnt be mad over such trivial matters.
yes, bad for my health too.


thanks to people whom i dont know..
like,
jessica, anon. and anonymous.
i've heard jessie spoke of jessica.
but i cant remember.
heh..

i shant be bothered by this types of things.

i've said before, and i shall say it once again,

i shall put this problems aside,
concentrate on my MYE.


good luck people! :D

apparently, some people dont really like what i've blogged.
as i've said a thousand million times,

BLOGS ARE PERSONAL DIARIES,
WHATEVER OWNERS FELT OR THEY HAVE THEIR PERSONAL VIEWS ON STUFFS,
DONT BOTHER TELLING THEM OFF.
IT WILL JUST MAKE MATTERS WORSE.

i shall make it clear now.


yes, although i dont know that particular girl, but, its just little little details that i've found out. so what if i dont know the entire story? so what if i've mistaken the whole concept? so what if i put words into people's mouth? you seriously dont know much about him and me.. thats what i think. i do try to smile everyday and make everyday the best out of it. do you even know that fact? do you see me crying and showing black faces everyday in school? that is, if you see me in school. i smile through my darkest times. if you seriously do not believe me, go on, ask my friends. shall i name them? oh yes, you know their names already. go on, ask them..

i've cut myself, indeed i did. i'm hurting myself, not hurting you. so why bother? I NEVER SLIT MY WRISTS. slitting my wrists is STUPID. now, about my sister. i dont really know what's going with her. nor she tells me about it.. how funny, she dont tell her problems to her siblings, instead, she tells people whom she detests. my mum cried. she hasnt found out about my problems.. and she never will. i have low self esteem, i think negative thoughts. i DO NOT cry physically, i do not show people my weakness, i do not and i will NEVER CRY INFRONT OF PEOPLE. i admit, i did not cry when i heard the story, i just feel sad. thats all. and for your info, i'm NOT crying now. i do not like people to pity me either.

looks can be deceiving. i'm refering to my friend. she have changed ever since we told her about her weak points. she have changed alot.. to a good one. she's a role model for me to follow now. she ticks me off, she gives me advices.. but, do you?

i am mad at my dad. that was yesterday's matter. but wait a second, do you even know my dad? i shall not rant about my dad and will not bad mouth him.

i shall say, i still DO like him alot. alright?


i shall put this problems aside,
concentrate on my MYE.

goodbye.

i've decided to post. (:


i've found out everything.
guess wad i've found out?
the reason why he wanna get into that particular JC.
i know about everything,
sad to say,
every little single detail.

everytime i spoke about it, i'll be so miserable inside.
i'll be crying inside.

sometimes,
the truth just hurts.


had english today.
everything sucked..
i had to rewrite my WHOLE compo cause' its too messy,
with all the correction tape.

the 2 compres sucked too.
i did my summary at the last minute.
dint look at the clock..
oh, how dumb.


just for an update;
i've scored 20/25 for my fnn practical test.
yay! =)


she has really changed alot.
not in a negative,
but suprisingly, in a positive way.
well, that proves one thing,
never judge a book by its cover,
and, looks can be deceiving.

i'm seriously wrong about everything.


cant do anything nor touch any technology.
it means that i cant touch the television or computer.
the feeling sucks lah.


i'm SUPER PISSED WITH MY FATHER.
pissed at him for bossing around.
out of rage,
i did it again..

i'm sorry,
friends of mine.

oh shocking.


you said i copied you.
how funny?
are you the only one doing all this?
you made mum cried,
mum is worried that you might break your blood vessels,
she's afraid that you might passed away,
which hopefully, it will never happen.

are you only finding something to get you mind off something,
or just some personal problems?
i cant believe it,
when you tell outsiders your problems,
instead of telling me.
thats a fact that you cant change.

but thanks for today,
you were not mean to me,
instead, you were being nice :D

oh so sad.


he liked her for 3 years..
its like,
an unrequitted love.
now, she's transferred.
i bet he's feeling very upset,
he's dying wish is just to touch those untouched lips,
not a kiss goodbye,
just to make up for whatever wrong-doings he had done.
oh so lovable,
oh so touching..

i just dont get it,
why bother telling these people?
is it hurtful?
what do you think?


In the middle of a gun fight...
In the center of a restaurant...
They say, "Come with your arms raised high!"
Well, they're never gonna get me,
And like a bullet through a flock of doves...
To wage this war against your faith in me,
Your life...will never be the same.
On your mother's eyes, say a prayer...say a prayer!


i hope for one thing,
just one thing,
theres nothing to be afraid,
afraid of me that is.

but i'm glad we're still in contact (:

but i have this guilty conscience in me now,
i kept thinking that i was the one who messed up your life.
thats according to some people.
but,
how did i actually mess things up?


its so sad,
when you found out,
the person you love,
actually have a crush on that girl for 3 years.
hurtful aint it?

I SHALL BE BLOGGING IN CAPS IF I'M MAD,
IF NOT, NO CAPS.

I'VE FOUND SOME INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT MY BLOG.
PEOPLE FIND MY ENTRIES,
ANNOYING, BITCHY, HURTFUL, TROUBLE-MAKING, LOADS OF OTHER WORDS I CAN THINK OF.

seriously,
ain blogs supposed to be something personal?
SOMETHING THAT THE OWNER CAN ACTUALLY EXPRESS HIS/HER FEELINGS.
BUT NO,
SOME PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY AGAINST MOST OF MY ENTRIES,
HAVING THEIR OWN PERSONAL NEGATIVE VIEWS,
YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT,
NEGATIVE,
NEGATIVE VIEWS.


i seriously dont dont dont get it.
I KNOW THAT I'M STRAIGHTFORWARD,
BUT NOT SO STRAIGHTFORWARD AS IN,
whenever i see someone walk past me, i'll shout,
"HEY!! look at that girl!! her hair's weird!!"
not that straightforward.
WANNA KNOW WHY I'M POURING OUT EVERYTHING HERE?
well, as i've said,
blogs are like a personal diary,
owners can discuss, swear or bitch in their blogs.
its like an online journal,
just that people are able to see what you've written.


AGAINST MY ENTRIES IS ONE THING,
the second thing is, i know that even my own sibling cant stand what i've written.
example,
if i induce vommitting, she will shout,
"FUCKER, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP MAKING YOURSELF VOMIT? ITS HURTING YOUR FUCKING ORGANS, YOU WANNA DIE, FINE! DIE THEN"

if i cut myself, she'll say,
"MOTHER FUCKER, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU COPY ME? DONT ACT LAH."

i mean, WTH?
cutting yourself aint copying nor it meant that i'm a big RIP-OFF.
oh whatever (:


i've been feeling so fucked up and upset from the starting of this week.
everytime i woke up,
i'll just hope that today's just another ordinary day,
dont need to rejoice over it.

i'm so upset on the 25th.
seriously i am.
well sister, wanna know what i did on that particular day?

I'VE CUT MYSELF 12 TIMES ON MY ARMS.
happy now?
i guess not.. oh well~


i've finally done my coursework!!
YESYESYESYES!!
i neednt procrastinate it any longer,
nor get so grief-stricken over it.
=)


i DONT hate alibaba or those people whom i'm hanging out with.
it feels kinda nice to have someone behind you,
cheering you on.
love you guys, alibaba & asg (:


i suddenly felt that i've began to love someone again..
that feeling,
cant undescrible.
it just feels nice :D


got an email from mrs neo.
we dint attend the batik painting thing on either the 20th or 22th of april.
hahaha!
so, no points, we're never getting the PNA gold.
oh well~


goodbye for now

you cant just expect unexpected things to happen
in such short notice cant you?


to my utter disappointment,
i've once again,
done it twice.
i induce vommitting again.
its not that i force myself.
it's because of those negative remarks constantly repeating in my head,
in my mind.

how hurtful can this comments get?
i mean.. so far that they're willing to hurt someone else,
in order to get what they long for,
to fulfil their destiny.


Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face.


she aint no push-over.
she aint a bad bully.
she aint one stupid girl,
nor one pessimistic big freak.
she's just a little annoyed and troubled.

the 6 BIG reasons that made her what she's now.

how fucked up.


If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open..


its just like a childhood story,
just that it has no happy ending..
lets say,
the story is a never ending one.
the ending kept procrastinating itself,

how devasting.
how sad.
how annoying.

i felt so aggrieved,
its like, i'm seriously being treated in an unfair way..


they so called, deluded me.
i dont believe myself either.
nor do i believe her myself.
but, i should believe her..
cause' she in my clique, my cca clique.
i shant trust anyone from now onwards,
except for her.
she's a great girl.
she helps me out in everything.
she's the only whom i can trust,
the only one whom i can confide in.

i suddenly remebered,
the main reason why i was so fucked up and miserable yesterday..


"i wanna marry you."


that was wad he said.
not to me, but to my most hated person i regard now.
hurtful and heart-breaking comments.

how saddening.
thats how i feel now.


:(

"if you cut yourself, i'm not gonna friend you!"
- seri

"you people are endangering your lives"
-puifun

"dont ever cut yourself, you're gonna regret it. although i know it hurts alot inside, but dont ever and i mean, EVER CUT YOURSELF!"
-grace (my sister)

"*hits me*, *steals away scissors from my hand*"
-yilian


some people's comments.
sorry if i forget any of your words.
thanks (:


guess what?
my sister cut herself again.
her handphone was confiscated cause' miss irene lim saw her using it.
i'm like super pissed.
why did you even have to take it out in the first place?
its already pretty obvious that you were looking in your pocket.
why even bother?
bother taking it out of cause'

all because of soh LL's fault.
its not like the 2 of us slept in class only.
tell me,
you never make the whole class participate..
you're making people get bored.
the first thing i would love to clarify,

why are you so fucking BIASED towards us?
you even complained to mrs yeo..
i dont mind you calling up my parents..
but,
why tell every single teacher teaching us?
do you really want us to have a bad record for the year?

if you seriously do,
please say it right in my face,
instead of doing things behind people's back.
its so fucking annoying.


had fnn practical test.
it is included in our theory mid year paper,
our overall practicals,
our overall theories,
and our coursework.
i seriously thought that we cant have a look at the recipe,
luckily, he printed it out for us.

today's dish,
"fried macroni and blah blah blah.."
heres a picture i took,
its not really exact cause i've added some noodles in it.
those itchy hands..



i must admit,
i did not cock up.. unlike the first practical.
i just did 1 thing wrongly..
after i've cooked everything, i was ready to serve,
i realised i dint even put in my mixed vegetables.
ahhh.. my stupidity.
my bad.

faizal came & grab a bite.
he dropped once he dug out some food.
my hands were soapy at that time,
so dint do anything.
i seriously hope i wont fail.

i've burnt my hands.
how stupid,
imagine, after you cook something at above 60 degrees,
you just put your fingers and touch the metal parts.
ouch.


he came to 3/6 yesterday.
i thought sammi was bluffing me..
he did turned up.
i'm so glad.. all the while i thought he might never have showed up.
yep, i was wrong about that.


someone made me real mad yesterday.


adeline told me,
they were mad at me cause' i'm always hanging out with her.
i seriously cant make my words obvious,
cause' i know that she will be reading this.

but i want to make something clear to you,


I AM STANDING AT THE NEGATIVE SIDE, I DONT LIKE HER, I HATE HER. I DETEST HER. I ABHOR HER. THE REASON I'M ALWAYS SEEN HANGING OUT WITH HER IS BECAUSE SHE KEEP STICKING ON TO ME. DO YOU EVEN THINK THAT I LIKE HER 1 BIT? NO, NO AND NO. MY ANSWER IS NO, IF YOU MIND (:


went to lin's house today.
did some chemistry,
kenneth smsed lin.
he claims that HE* was walking behind him.
together with 3 guys i suppose.
i shall not elaborate..
but i shall say,

"i'm glad he still do remember (:"


went to west mall.
intially, i wanted to buy something extra for him..
but i'm seriously broke peniless.


bought some extra badges for him,
1 prob,
how am i going to give him?


received the mid years time-table.
i dont feel very confident.
i dont feel very serious.

i'm seriously going to flunk it.
esp both my A and E maths.
why do i even wanna score A1s when i was secondary 2?
if i dint do my best last year,
i'm sure to take NA maths.
why? why? why?

i need help.
soon.


i'm still waiting..
waiting and waiting and waiting.

2124..
=)


i seriously swear that i will never forget this past 2 days.
you owe me 2 bucks!
haha. jkjk (:


love,
hate,
angst,
jealously,

ouch*

i should be happy.

but yet,



i'm not.


































why?


yes, you guys have seen me laughing loads of times..
i'm known as the "joyful" one.

but,
i feel so..
hurt, green-eyed, embarrased, mad..

why?



i asked myself a million times,
why? did i even asked for it?
yes, maybe sometimes.

but.. seriously,
sometimes..
i really wish that it will go away..
get out of my fucking face.
get out of my fucking life.
i hate you.




now,
i'll i ask myself again..























why do i even bother?

i'm getting more & more hot-tempered..
what the hell.
all because of you.


i lost everything..
i'm pretty upset when i found out that my calculator has gone missing.
i draw so many stuffs on it..
i draw all my cliques name.
i coloured them.
i used them for 2 years.
i've lost 3 calculators when i was secondary 1 & 2.
i lost my wonderful calculator again.
i cant even do proper revision w/o them.
i cried when i found out that it wasnt in my bag.
my mood became more dampen.

besides my missing calculator,
i've lost my lucky pen.
call me childish if you want. i am childish anyway.
i love my black pen..
i miss it.

i hate it when i lose stuffs.
i clearly remembered that i did have it when i was in fnn class.
a calculator doesnt come cheap.
& i have to use my own money to buy it back.
i'm so frickingly pissed.


mr faizal said our practical test was next week.
he said that we cant take our recipe books into the kitchen,
nor he will tell us what we're going to cook.
i'm super anxious.

he gave us our coursework.
my mind went blank.
our coursework is due on 27 of april,
13 more days to go.

his explaination is super messy.
i dont even get what he's talking about..
just nodded to whatever he says..
i seriously need help in my coursework.
any fnn people willing to help?


you guys said the wrong stuffs again..
i'm hurt.


i know that i swear alot nowadays.
but, have you ever wondered why i would even sweared in the first place?
i sweared cause' i'm troubled, cause' i'm filled with anger.
you guys think i'm doing it on purpose?
no.. i'm mad.


i'm losing appetite nowadays..
i refused to eat.

my illness doesnt seem to go away.
it keeps getting worser & worser..
i dread waking up every morning,
cause' everytime i wake up,
my throat will be feeling so sore..
i cant talk, instead, i'll keep coughing.
it feels so terrible..

sometimes,
i just wish that i wont wake up forever.


its chaos at my tagboard.
i would love to spam it.
but, SHE* will get mad.
oh well, whatever she says.


I WONT REPLY TAGS FOR A HIATUS.

its not that i'm chicken or anything..
she warned me,
ahhh.. what the fuck.

please present your BIG names in your tags if you people dont mind.
leave my fucking sister outta it.
spam me for all you want.
dont insult my friends.
who's the one who started it?
well, not us of cause'.
whatever.


ms nurul is so nice.
she told us what questions are gonna come out for the history common test.
she even gave us the notes & showed us how to write it in essay form.
i seriously have to memorise it.


i hate it.
why am i born so stupid?!
why cant i understand stuffs easily like other kids?
why must people say hurtful things about me?
why cant people understand me or listen to me for once?
i find it super irritating when people show off their high marks to me.
not that i'm pin-pointing to anyone..
but yeah. i hate that girl sitting infront,
beside girl.
she's super sickening..
keeps putting her hands near my thighs during fnn theories.
"get your fucking hands off my body parts"
bloody hell. i'm starting to really really hate her.


i think i'm gonna have a bad record for chinese lessons.
i keep sleeping in mdm soh's class.
soh scolded puifun for telling us jokes.
soh scolded samantha for sleeping.
soh scolded jie for sleeping too.
soh rarely scold me nowadays.
i guess she's scared of me.. cause' i always shouted back at her.
i still remembered that she used to insult me.
thats why i'm still that mad at her.
alibaba's gonna have a bad record.
ahhh.. what the heck.
as if we're the only ones causing all the nonsense.


i love ammonium!
searching for his info is like searching for a needle in a haystack.
ahhh..
i give up.


my grief-stricken life.
fucking hell.
this doesnt concerns my sister.
leave her outta it.

sometimes, it pays to be perfect.
looking back,
after all this time..
i do felt proud about myself.

proud that i'm so courageous,
so positive,
oh, maybe not so positive..
but, yes. i'm proud of myself for being so brave.
*pats on back*

2pm to 2am.
whenever i'm feeling down,
i'll think about it,
& i'll smile.

ms lim talked to us today after our history remedial.
told her about my problems.
she said that the reason i kept getting mad,
its because i get too fed-up with little little things.
i should try to smile through those dark times.

i suddenly felt the urge to slit my wrists.
cutting myself.
jumping down from a high rise building.
the pressure is just too much.
i dont think i can hold it any longer.

sorry guys..
sorry that i kept having that "black" face today.
maybe i should listen to you guys..
stop thinking about it..
i'll be alright (:

thanks samantha, jie, puifun, yilian, lin & jessie.
thanks for supporting me.
i love you guys. (:

i thought that my times of being unhappy was over.
but no,
every good things have its dark side.

during pc period,
ms lim told us to write down what have happened during our past few years.
i wrote down my missing handphone,
2pm to 2pm,
the first time he talked to me,
psle,
my best friends,
him, him & him.

i seriously wanted to talk to him,
or just send him a sms.
i wish he would come & talk to me.
which i think is impossible.
i'll die if he does that :D


i cant get over it.
its like,
someone's blocking me,
someone pulling me away from being happy,
giving me more & more obstacles.

so near, yet so far


is dying the right choice?

i'll try to blog in a positive way.
i guess..


i dint notice it myself either.. until you guys told me.
i cant believe that she would self-inflict pain on herself.. i always thought that she's living life to the fullest..
but no..
i did let you have the best in everything. i let you use those good things first, before i use them..
i told you how to plan your time well, i tried helping you.
i lectured you, not scolding nor shouting at you..
i love you alot.. & i know that you do felt the same way too..
but, why resort to slitting your wrists?
maybe not slitting your wrist, but inflicting pain on yourself..
but, why dont you tell me what problems are on your mind? people are just being nice to you, we're all trying our best to help you solve your difficulties..
why dont you tell us?
why wont you trust your only sister for once?


i dont know why.. but i'm feeling WAY WAY tired!!
the moment i got home, all i want was my comfortable bed..
but i cant, homeworks come first.
mid-years are approaching. & i'm NOT ready.
secondary 3's life is damn stressful.. & i kept having frequent headaches..
i do wish i can hit myself hard with a hammer.


stop coughing into my face bryan!!
ITS DAMN RUDE OF YOU,
now, i'm having a slight cough.. are you happy now?






































































no, i do not WANT TO INTERFERE anymore. shall i repeat myself? i'm washing my hands off the problems that have been occuring. i do felt pissed & mad myself. do you think that i'll feel neutral?
i dont even know what have even happened..
i was going to close down this fucked up crap..
all because of him, i've changed my mind.. yes.
i dont even know what kind of logic is in your head right now, but i feel that this "talk-behind-each-other's-back" has to stop.
isnt it so childish? i dont know who started this kind of thing..
but, i shouldnt interfere your life with your childhood friend or your primary friend shouldnt i?
you said i was the cause of the troubles.. FINE, what have i done wrong?
seriously, this thing have caused me thinking about it for 24/7..
i shall not hate him.. & neither do i hate you. hate me for all you want..
its beyond my limits afterall.


gossips, unhappiness.. why do i hear them in guides?
now, even the ex-cos are aiming at themselves..
learn to love,
not hate (:


fucked up.
i think i'm gonna die soon (:

ahhh.. what the fuck.
i'm beginning to write shorter & shorter post.
yay me!


shocked, surprised, filled with angst, fuming mad with anger, jealousy, overjoyed..
thats what i felt today.
a mixed-up emotion ain?


indeed i do,
i felt so bad.. bad for breaking up people's friendship.
actually, i'm not quite sure what i've done.
each parties have said negative remarks about each other..
who should i believe?
according to millions & tons of people, i do think that its that person's fault.
i doubt that you'll ever be reading this but, yes.
i do felt bad inside.. but!
how did i mess things up?


read through my archives & diary posts.
after reading it, couldnt help but laugh..
after so much courage i've put in..
indeed, it was worth it.
yes, i've never regretted.


post a longer one next time.

:D

i'm left speechless..


am i still acting so..
paranoid?
cos, i kept getting the idea that he hates me,
she hates me,
they hate me,
blah blah blah..
no, seriously, i really must change my mindset..
change my way of thinking.


i've forgotten to mention that,
kerk doesnt know how to spell, bicycle!!
he spelled it as,
"bicylce"

all of us were mocking at him,
laughing at his stupidity.
hahahahaha!!


sometimes, people do irritate the opposite party.
like my mum & my sister.
mum wants to make my sister's life comfortable..
cos she's doing her art right now.
she wants her to have a nice night through the night,
but, somehow somewhat,
it really irritates her..
alot..
signs of attitude problems or she wants to rebel against her?


after much thinking,
i do think that they make a great couple.
all the best,
the 2 of you =)

no, i'm not being sarcastic in anyway..
i'm serious.
it hurts.. real bad.


goodbye my lover